Overview
Rev. Jon Ryan examines “Love is Quick to Say, I’m Sorry” through Romans 14, Luke 18, Proverbs 11, Proverbs 16, showing how want, don’t, thou shape a believer’s relationship with God, daily choices, and service to others.
Transcript
Understanding Love is Quick to Say, I’m Sorry
Love means never having to say you’re sorry. That’s not what God’s word says. That’s a quote from a movie called Love Story.
It came out in 1970, 52 years ago. And that statement reverberated through the country, and things were written about it, and it was accepted. And yet, we know that that’s not true.
God is love. There’s going to be records in the word where we see the expression of apology is a big part of life. When we have done somebody wrong or said something wrong, if you look at it like each person has a fence that surrounds their heart.
Some people might have a picket fence. Other people might have a different kind of fence. And yet, when inadvertently or sometimes without thinking something is said or done, it’s like part of that fence is torn down, and it needs to be repaired.
And the apology can begin to repair or mend that break in the relationship. If you go to Romans chapter 14, please, Romans 14. So love does not mean you never have to say you’re sorry.
That’s, for all people, we can make mistakes. And it’s a great thing to, when you become aware that you’ve made a mistake, even if it was unintentional or inadvertent, that you apologize. You take into consideration the other person in their heart.
In Romans 14 verse 19, we read, Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace. And the things we’re with one may edify another. To edify is to build.
So we are constantly looking to build one another up, to mend any breaks that can happen in a relationship, whether it’s a relationship of a marriage, or in a family relationship, or even just friends, or sometimes people you just are slightly acquainted with. We never want to allow the misspeak or the statement or action to become a wedge that breaks down the relationship. There have been things written about this by poets, songwriters.
Elton John wrote a song that says, Sorry seems to be the hardest word. At times people have a difficult challenge with admitting that they’ve done something wrong. And we don’t want to fall into that category.
Look at Luke chapter 18, please. Luke 18. Jesus Christ gives this example.
The Biblical Foundation
I like this example. And he’s talking about how pride can get in the way at times. In Luke 18 verse 9, And he spake this parable unto certain which trusted in themselves that they were righteous and despised others.
So there’s a great context of what can happen at times where maybe you’ve said something and somebody got hurt, and you didn’t feel like they should have gotten hurt. You didn’t mean anything by that statement. Because you’re righteous, right? But if they got hurt, let’s take that into consideration.
Here he goes on. Verse 10. Two men went up into the temple to pray.
The one a Pharisee and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee that I’m not as the other men are extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as publican. I fast twice in the week.
I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican standing afar off would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. Jesus Christ goes on.
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other. For everyone that exalted themselves shall be abased, and he that humbled himself shall be exalted. What a great contrast.
You know, it’s humility is such a wonderful aspect of life to be humble in places in the word it says we’re to be clothed with humility. We don’t want to justify if someone says they’ve been hurt. We don’t want to justify that.
Well, you shouldn’t be hurt. I didn’t mean anything by that. You know, rather be quick to say, you know, I’m sorry.
I didn’t maybe take into account what I was saying. I didn’t maybe express myself properly, but I certainly wouldn’t want to hurt you. I’m so sorry.
Look at Proverbs, please. Proverbs chapter 11. We just want to take care of each other.
If we can recognize more quickly that these people that we interact with, our family, our spouses, our friends, that they are chosen of God. They’re God’s kids. Perhaps we’ll be less inclined to say a harsh word, or even if it does come out because we are filled with emotion.
Examples and Spiritual Lessons
Maybe we’ll be more inclined to try and make the repair quickly. In Proverbs chapter 11, verse 2, when pride cometh, then cometh shame, but with the lowly is wisdom. I love that verse.
When pride comes, there’s shame. It’s not a good thing to be boastful or prideful, or to think too highly of yourself that, well, they shouldn’t be offended of me. Look at chapter 16 of Proverbs.
Proverbs 16. We’re just going to touch on this a little bit here. In verse 18, pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
Better it is to be if a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud. So, obviously, it’s better to be to humble yourself. Again, it’s just a matter of at times putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, not trying to fit them into your shoes and say, well, they shouldn’t be upset by this.
I wouldn’t have been upset. No, if they are upset, we don’t know all the circumstances. There’s a saying, right? Try walking a mile in their shoes.
You don’t know all that they’ve been through. So, perhaps that statement you made is the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. So, we don’t go that way.
Look at chapter 18 of Proverbs, chapter 18, and jump down to verse 12. Before destruction, the heart of man is haughty. Before honor is humility.
So, it becomes pretty obvious which direction do we want to go in. We want to be humble. We want to just see that we are children of God, and we’re told in the word, in chapter 5, that we’re to be imitators of God as dear children.
So, to be imitators of God, we need to just consider how God would handle a situation. How does He handle things? Look at chapter 29, Proverbs 29. Proverbs is such a great book of wisdom.
It really tells us a lot of how we can act, how not to act. In Proverbs 29, 23, a man’s pride shall bring him low, but honor shall uphold be humble in spirit. I think this point is being made pretty clearly in Proverbs.
Faith in Action
So, we just consider. We certainly are grateful for the word that we’ve been taught, and we want to do our best to walk with God, but at times, all of us will make mistakes. Sometimes I use the analogy of driving in a vehicle, a car, on a trip somewhere.
And if you’re driving in this car, and you’re trying to get some place with a group of people, and the driver somehow misses the turnoff, the exit that they were supposed to take. Well, what’s the right way to handle that? Should everybody start yelling at the driver, you jerk, you stupid person. We were supposed to turn there.
Is that going to help them? Is that going to get you back on track? No. Might cause an accident. Rather, you could very humbly say, I think we were talking, it probably distracted you, and I think we went by the exit we were supposed to take, unless maybe you’re going to a different exit to take the route.
How much better is that going to be received? Now, you could just go and look at your map and figure out if there’s a way to get back on route, or maybe you just turn around and go back to that exit that was missed. But we are in this vehicle together. We’re endeavoring to walk together in newness of life.
So we don’t want to be cutting, or hard, or think too much of ourselves. We want to be much more humble. Look at Psalm 51.
Psalm 51 is a great example of this, where this psalm is written by the great man David, and the context of this is David has made an egregious error. He is king of the kingdom of Israel. He saw this woman, Bathsheba, as she was bathing on the roof.
He obviously was in a higher vantage point where he lived or was staying, and he saw this this woman, and he called for her, even though she was married to another man. And of course, she being part of the kingdom, they called for her to come to the king, and she came, and he slept with her. And he ended up getting her pregnant.
And so when that news came to him, now he felt like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? And Israel at the time was in a battle, and the woman’s husband was one of the soldiers in the battle. And he called for this soldier to come home so he can spend some time with his family. And he came back to David, but he was called back by the king, and he would not go to his house.
He says, how can I go to my home when my fellow countrymen are fighting this battle? And David could not get him to go home to Bathsheba. What he wanted to do was cover for his error, to have him sleep with his wife. And so when she ultimately had this baby, he would think it was his.
But he would not do this. And so David called for the general, sent the soldier back up to the battle, and said, put him in the hottest battle, and move away from him. That was obviously calling for him to be killed.
And that’s what happened. He was killed. And so now, a short time later, one of God’s prophets, Nathan, came to David and disclosed what he did.
Walking in Love and Confidence
And he can’t hide this from God. And so David didn’t try to cover. He went to God.
And this is how he goes to God, this Psalm 51. Verse 1, have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me through thee from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
He’s clearly acknowledging he did wrong. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight.
Well, it certainly was evil done to this man’s family. But first David is coming to God, because he’s God’s man, and he should never have done this. It goes on, that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judges.
Behold, I was shaping in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to no wisdom. Purge me with hyacinth, and I shall be clean.
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice. Hide my face from my sin, blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God. He wants a new beginning. We want a new beginning.
We want to repair that fence. We want to make things as they were before the mistake was made. And so we come with humility.
We acknowledge it. We don’t try to justify, well, you know, I was having this problem or that problem, so I really wasn’t thinking straight. That very well may be the case, but it needs to be accompanied with, but I should have never said that.
I should have never done that. And I am very sorry to have put you in that position. It goes on again here in verse 11 of Psalm 51, Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.
Applying the Teaching in Daily Life
Back in the Old Testament, that was an option. They had this Holy Spirit, only the leaders of God’s people, and they had it upon a condition. The king before David, King Saul, had the Holy Spirit upon him and lost it.
And so David’s saying, please, I do not want to lose this you’ve given me. Verse 12, Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with thy free spirit. Then will I teach transgressors thy ways.
He wants to go on serving God and teaching God’s people. Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness. O Lord, open thou my lips, and my mouth shall show forth thy praise.
For thou desirest not sacrifice, else I would giveth. Thou delightest not in burnt offering, the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart. O God, thou wilt not despise.
Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion. Build thou the walls of Jerusalem. Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering, with whole burnt offering.
Then shall they offer bullocks upon thy altar. In other words, get it right, and you can resume the relationship. That’s how we can walk with God.
That’s what he desires. You know, in Matthew, chapter 18, you don’t have to turn there. There’s a point where Peter comes to Jesus Christ and says, how often should I forgive my brother? Seven times? Obviously, the brother that we know that Peter has is Andrew, and he’s also called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ.
And Andrew has apparently done something wrong to Peter, and maybe done something wrong more than one time, because Peter’s saying, you know, seven times enough time to forgive this guy, and Jesus Christ lovingly looks to him and says, 70 times seven, which that’s 490 times, which means don’t count. You know, we don’t start keeping a tally of, you did me wrong here, you did me wrong there. We just need to be very forgiving.
So we want to, if we’ve blown it, we want to quickly admit our error and ask for forgiveness, say we’re sorry. And then on the other side, if you find yourself where someone comes to you, then we want to be loving and forgive them. Let’s close in James chapter four.
James four, please. Way towards the back of your Bible. James has some great things that are written here.
James chapter three is all about controlling your tongue. So we don’t say the wrong thing at the wrong time. It says the tongue is, it’s hard to control, but we can control it.
A Life Shaped by God’s Word
We can consider what we say. Just take your time. Think before you speak.
When you get emotional, it’s a good time to take a break instead of just retaliating with whatever’s at the top of your mind or the tip of your tongue. Just be slower to consider situations, especially if you’re talking to somebody that you’re married to, or that’s your family, don’t get into shouting matches. Just be very loving and patient, and then be able to just put the relationship in context, like we’ve looked at before.
And here in James chapter four, look what it says here. We’ll pick it up in verse six. James four, six.
But he giveth more grace. It’s talking about God. Wherefore, he says, God resist the proud, but gives grace unto the humble.
Submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw an eye to God, and he will draw an eye to you. See, so God’s resisting the proud.
He doesn’t like when someone is haughty or proud or unwilling to acknowledge an error. We’re all going to make errors. The only perfect man lived and died 2,000 years ago and is sitting at the right hand of God.
So unless you’re him, realize that you can make mistakes at times. And so God gives grace to the humble. As we are humble, then God will give us more than perhaps we deserve.
Maybe we did wrong and deserve consequences. Well, God’s mercy can cover and grace can mend this relationship back together. And at times you have to be patient.
Just because you’re humble doesn’t mean the person that was wrong is going to instantly just forgive you and say, okay, well, that’s why I was waiting for you to say you’re sorry. Maybe it’s going to need a little bit of time. So don’t get impatient saying, well, why aren’t they forgiving me? No, that’s again falling into the trap of being proud and being haughty.
Just be patient and let this relationship rebuild. Let that trust be reformed and we can move forward.
Key Takeaways
- We don’t want to justify if someone says they’ve been hurt.
- You know, we don’t start keeping a tally of, you did me wrong here, you did me wrong there.
- You know, it’s humility is such a wonderful aspect of life to be humble in places in the word it says we’re to be clothed with humility.
- No, if they are upset, we don’t know all the circumstances.
- We certainly are grateful for the word that we’ve been taught, and we want to do our best to walk with God, but at times, all of us will make mistakes.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the main message of “Love is Quick to Say, I’m Sorry”?
Rev. Jon Ryan examines “Love is Quick to Say, I’m Sorry” through Romans 14, Luke 18, Proverbs 11, Proverbs 16, showing how want, don’t, thou shape a believer’s relationship with God, daily choices, and service to others.
Which scriptures are central to this teaching?
The teaching draws especially from Romans 14, Luke 18, Proverbs 11, Proverbs 16, Proverbs 29.
How can believers apply this teaching?
We certainly are grateful for the word that we’ve been taught, and we want to do our best to walk with God, but at times, all of us will make mistakes.
Scripture References
Romans 14; Luke 18; Proverbs 11; Proverbs 16; Proverbs 29; Psalm 51
This text was prepared from the teaching audio or source document. Please verify scripture references against your own Bible.
