Overview
We need each other because friendship is how believers keep one another sharp, hold one another to the hope, and carry one another through the hardest seasons. In this teaching, Rev. Jon Ryan works through Proverbs 27, Proverbs 18, John 15, Hebrews 10 and the friendship of Jonathan and David in 1 and 2 Samuel to show what that kind of relationship looks like. Hearty counsel from a friend is as delightful as ointment and perfume, iron sharpeneth iron, and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. The closing charge is practical: do not forsake the assembling of ourselves together, and choose your friends very wisely, because it matters who you hang with.
Transcript
Friend: The Title Behind All the Others
It’s such an important thing that we have one another, to take care of each other. When I consider the different titles that even I have, I have I’m a brother, I’m a friend, I’m a dad, I’m a husband, I’m an uncle, I’m a cousin, and all these relationships that are depicted by certain words. And a word that I’d like to consider this evening is friend.
A couple weeks ago I traveled out to Utah and I reconnected with some dear friends out there that some of whom I hadn’t seen in almost 40 years. And yet we were able to pick up where we left off because the basis and foundation of our relationship was the Word of God. Last weekend I had another dear friend that traveled here from North Carolina. He’s on the line with us, David Ricard. And that friendship was started also about 40 years ago. And we just had a grand time for three or four days. It’s just, it’s tremendous.
Hearty Counsel Is Like Ointment and Perfume in Proverbs 27:9
And God has some things to say about friendship. If you go to Proverbs 27, there’s actually a lot to say in here about friends. It has about 165 uses of the word. And yet I just picked out a few, and I really am going to show a specific relationship. Here in Proverbs 27, in verse 9, we read, ointment and perfume rejoice the heart. So does the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.
I love that it compares it to ointment and perfume. Sometimes you can go on a date with your honey, and she puts on the perfume that she’s not typically wearing around the house. And you know that she’s put it on for you. And it’s a delight. Well, it compares this to hearty counsel from a friend. It can be just as delightful. What a great comparison that God has made here.
Iron Sharpeneth Iron: How Friends Keep Each Other Sharp
Look down a few verses at verse 17. Iron sharpeneth iron. So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friends. See, iron sharpeneth iron is to keep tools useful. If they’re designed for cutting, then you need to keep them sharp. I’ve been to a butcher shop where the tools or the implements that the butcher’s using have to be so sharp. I’ve seen them just masterfully filleting a fish or cutting up a steak. And it’s just they really keep these in good order so that they can perform for them.
Well, what we do is these implements, the tools, can get dull from use at times. And as friends, we help to keep each other sharp. Keep each other on point so that we can derive the greatest benefit. We can keep each other on the word. Not that we go looking at one another with a critical eye, but we just are taking care of each other.
A Friend That Sticketh Closer Than a Brother
Go back to Proverbs 18. At the end of this chapter 18, in verse 24, a man that hath friends must show himself friendly. And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. What a relationship that has to be. A friend that’s closer than a brother. I’ve got some friends that are so dear unto me.
Matter of fact, when my friend David came out this past weekend to go to the… He took me to a Red Sox game in Boston. And when I moved back here a year and a half ago, a dear friend that I’ve had for almost 50 years, for more than 50 years actually, he offered, when he heard that we were going to the Red Sox game, he and his wife said, well, we’ll pick you up at your door and we’ll bring you to Fenway Park. And we’ll pick you up after the game.
And it’s just the friendship that we could… I was asking him, where’s the best place to park? He says, don’t worry about parking. We got it covered. And they picked us up in their van and they had a cooler full of drinks on ice, and they had snacks. It was like a limo service taking us to the ballgame. And they weren’t coming to the game with us. They were going to go and just get something to eat while we were at the game. And they picked us up afterwards.
But we can have these quality friendships for decades, for a lifetime. And we just take care of one another. And here God is commending us or showing us how to have this kind of a friendship.
Jesus Calls His Disciples Friends in John 13 and John 15
Go to the Gospel of John. Jesus Christ had great relationships. He had chosen his apostles, the 12 apostles, and he got to the end of his life. And just before he was arrested, he shared some very intimate things with his men. And he washed their feet. In John chapter 13, he just was doing the most lowly act of a servant to show them how much he loved them. And he was teaching them about love. He presented that a new commandment I give to you, that you love one another. By this shall all men know that you’re my disciples if you love one another.
And then in John 15, we’re going to look at verse 9. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you. Continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love, even as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, that ye love one another as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends if ye do whatsoever I command you.
How heart-wrenching. Here he’s going to go to the cross. He knows from his study of the Scriptures that he’s going to be so beaten that you won’t even be able to recognize him as a man. And before he goes, he’s telling them it’s all based on his love for the Father and that they can love like that.
Well, we can love like that also. We don’t have to give our lives, although a true friend would take a bullet for his friend, you know, would stand in the way if there was a need. But thankfully, we don’t have to do this like Jesus Christ did to win back all that was lost in Adam. He already paid the price. But we can walk with that kind of heart.
Hold Fast the Hope and Provoke One Another Unto Love and Good Works
Look at Hebrews 10. And here in verse 23, Hebrews 10:23, let us hold fast the profession of our faith. The word faith is actually hope. Let us hold fast the profession of our hope without wavering for he is faithful that promised it. See, so the hope that we have of Christ’s return, we can hold fast to that. Earlier in Hebrews 6, it says that hope is the anchor of our soul. So the exhortation is to continue to look forward to the return of Jesus Christ.
As a matter of fact, that’s what’s going to say in the following verses. Let us consider one another to provoke. And provoke sounds like when I was a young man, a young child, I would do things to provoke my brothers and sisters. It was not what this word means. This word means to encourage. To encourage unto love and to good works. So we’re to consider one another to encourage each other, to love and to do good works. In Ephesians chapter 2, it says, we have this gift that was given to us by God’s grace so that we can do good works.
Not Forsaking the Assembling of Ourselves Together
And then it says in verse 25, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together as the manner of some is, but exhorting one another. And so much the more as ye see the day approaching. The day is referring to the hope. So we’re to hold fast to the hope. We’re to encourage one another, provoke or encourage one another to love and good works. We’re to assemble together like we’re doing here on the phone. And like we do when we take opportunities to be face to face with people. Like I just talked about the past couple of weekends. We look forward to those opportunities to just be a part of each other’s lives. That’s how the iron sharpening iron can happen.
To forsake is to abandon or to give up on. But we’re not to abandon or give up on the assembling of ourselves together. It can become easy to just be in your home and kind of keep yourself in a place where you’re not with anybody. Nowadays, they’ll deliver everything to your door and you can have everything you need just at your fingertips through the internet. But spend time with people. Take the opportunity. Even this here, we’re on the phone with each other, but greater is those opportunities we have to be with one another.
Jonathan and David: A Friendship Across a Generation
So if you turn back to the Old Testament, 1 Samuel, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 and 2 Samuel. We’re going to go to 1 Samuel 18. We’re going to look at a special relationship here. A relationship that’s a friendship that is built between two men. One is actually about twice as old as the other one. It’s the two men are Jonathan and David. When this relationship begins, David is just a teenager and Jonathan is about 40 years old.
In 1 Samuel 18, this is straight after David has killed Goliath. This teenage boy, he’s about 17 years old, took on this nemesis of the Philistines that was threatening Israel. And all of Israel was in hiding because this man was so big, this giant. And David believed God and took on this giant with an outrageous attitude. He says, who dares to defy the armies of the living God? And then he ran at Goliath with his slingshot and slew the giant. It appears he hit him in the forehead. And the giant fell to the ground, and David took the giant’s sword and chopped off his head with the sword.
The Soul of Jonathan Was Knit With the Soul of David
And here’s the next chapter, chapter 18, verse 1. We read, And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, David told Saul the king what he did, that the soul of Jonathan, Jonathan is Saul’s son. So at the end, when David finished talking to Saul, it says that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. So Jonathan had gotten to know David a little bit, and he was inspired by David’s boldness, his courageous stand, this action he took.
Verse 2, And Saul took him, took David that day, and would let him go no more home to his father’s house. He took him to be part of the army. And Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. Look how that’s repeated over and again. The soul of Jonathan was knit with David, Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And here in verse 3, it says again, he loved him as his own soul.
And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him, and gave it to David, and his garments, even to his sword, and to his bow, and to his girdle. See, David wasn’t even old enough to be in the army, but you go and take on the army’s arch nemesis, this giant that has everybody running for cover, and you’re pretty much, you know, now part of the army. And so Jonathan just gives him all of his equipment.
Saul’s Disobedience and Israel Outnumbered at Michmash
I mean, and so how did this happen? Let’s look at a little bit of history. If you go back a few chapters to chapter 14. Chapter 14, Saul has been the king for quite a number of years at this point. And once again, they’re being harassed. They’re being harassed. We’re going to read verse 1 of 1 Samuel 14. Now it came to pass upon a day that Jonathan, the son of Saul, said unto the young man that bare his armor, come and let us go over to the Philistines’ garrison that is on the other side. But he told not his father.
So what is this about? Well, look at chapter 13, just before this, and start in verse 13. And Samuel said to Saul, Samuel was the prophet. He came to Saul and said to Saul, thou hast done foolishly. Saul was just not obeying what God’s word said for him to do. So Samuel has to come and tell him, thou hast done foolishly. Thou hast not kept the commandment of the Lord thy God, which he commanded thee. For now would the Lord have established thy kingdom upon Israel forever.
But now thy kingdom shall not continue. The Lord hath sought him, a man after his own heart. That’s going to be David. And the Lord hath commanded him to be captain over his people, because thou hast not kept that which the Lord commanded thee. And Samuel arose and gat him up from Gilgal unto Gibeah of Benjamin. So here’s what’s happening is Saul had not been doing what he should have been doing as the king.
Verse 16, Saul and Jonathan his son and the people that were present with them abode in Gibeah of Benjamin, but the Philistines encamped in Michmash. So here’s the enemy that’s come. Look at verse 22. So it came to pass in the day of battle that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people that were with Saul and Jonathan. But with Saul and Jonathan his son there was found. They’ve got no weapons. Only Saul and Jonathan have a sword.
And here’s the enemy coming, bearing down on them. Verse 23, and the garrison of the Philistines went out to the passage of Michmash. So the battle is being all set. And this is the context where we read verse 1 of chapter 14. Jonathan says to his armor bearer, let’s go. Are you with me?
No Restraint to the Lord to Save by Many or by Few
Look at verse 6. And Jonathan said to the young man that bare his armor, come, let us go over unto this garrison of these uncircumcised. It may be that the Lord will work for us. For there is no restraint to the Lord to save by many or by few. They were amazingly outnumbered. And yet Jonathan is telling his armor bearer, come on, God’s on our side, even if it’s just the two of us.
Look at verse 13. And Jonathan climbed up upon his hands and upon his feet and his armor bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan and his armor bearer slew after him. And that first slaughter which Jonathan and his armor bearer made was about 20 men within, as it were, half an acre of land, which a yoke of oxen might plow. And there was a trembling in the host, in the field, and among all the people, the garrison and the spoilers, they also trembled, and the earth quaked. So it was a very great trembling.
See, they had come, just Jonathan and his armor bearer, and presented the Philistines with an opportunity and said, we’re going to take you on. And they laughed at him and said, I’ll get out of here. But then Jonathan and his armor bearer started climbing up the hill. And as these men came at him, they were just slaying him one after the other. After they killed 20 of them, they all began to run away, because it was a spiritual contest, just like with David and Goliath. Jonathan had taken on this whole army of the Philistines with just his armor bearer by his side.
And look at verse 23. So the Lord saved Israel that day, and the battle passed over unto Bethaven. These two men woke up the rest of the Israel, and they came into battle after them, and they totally defeated these Philistines. So this happened a while before this whole thing with David and Goliath.
Evil Associations Corrupt Good Manners: It Matters Who You Hang With
And Jonathan was rejoicing when he saw David, with his boldness, take on the Philistines. And he maybe was wondering why he had allowed this conviction that he had to wane, to diminish, over the time when he had taken on the whole Philistine army with just one man by his side. See, it says in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that evil associations corrupt good manners. It matters who you hang with.
And sometimes we can find ourselves, if we just watch the news all day long, and for maybe several days in a row, we can end up being very discouraged. Because it’s not much good that’s coming out of that box that sits on your wall or wherever you’ve got your TV. It does a lot of good to just cut away from that. It doesn’t mean we have to put our head in the sand. But to spend time with people that love you, like Jonathan decides, when he sees David, he says he knit him soul with David.
I need to spend time with David, not with my father, who’s not doing the work. Now he had some obligation to take care of things for his father. And that’s what ultimately is going to be his downfall. But he has such love for David because of how David has risen up.
But a Step Between Me and Death: Jonathan Shields David in 1 Samuel 20
Look at chapter 20. So Jonathan makes his covenants with David, even though his father gets to a place where his father is very jealous of David. And his father starts to take his men to pursue David. He wants to kill him. And Jonathan knows that David’s a great man.
In chapter 20, verse 1, and David fled from Naioth in Ramah and came and said before Jonathan, what have I done? What is my iniquity? And what is my sin before thy father that he seeketh my life? And he said unto him, God forbid, thou shalt not die. Behold, my father will do nothing, either great or small, but that he will show it me. And why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so. See, Jonathan’s next in line for the crown to be the king. And he says, my dad tells me everything he’s going to do. But David’s concerned because he knows that Saul is after him.
Verse 3, and David sware moreover and said, thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes. And he said, let not Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved. But truly as the Lord liveth and as thy soul liveth, there is but a step between me and death. That’s how David sees this whole situation. He’s like one step ahead of saving his own life. He knows that Saul knows about the relationship of David and Jonathan. And so he’s saying that he may not tell you everything.
And you can read the following chapters. We’re not going to take the time this evening, but read chapter 22, 24, 26. And you see how Saul was pursuing David. David’s got 400 men. Saul’s pursuing him with 3,000 men. And he just wanted to kill him. But David walks with great love and great wisdom. And he’s able to really, as he speaks to Saul when there’s opportunities, he’s able to keep the spirits that are raging in Saul from being able to move. And Saul gets in his right mind when David comes to him.
David’s Lament Over Saul and Jonathan in 2 Samuel 1
But ultimately, David has to get the word that Saul and his son Jonathan have been killed. And let’s close in 2 Samuel chapter 1. This is, it almost broke my heart reading it this afternoon. This is a eulogy. The word has just come to David that his dear friend Jonathan has died. It’s almost too hard to consider. But see, Jonathan couldn’t break away from his father until he was in a battle where his father had made mistakes even going to the battle. And they both got killed.
And here in 2 Samuel chapter 1, in verse 17, and David lamented with this lamentation over Saul and over Jonathan his son. Also, he bade them teach the children of Judah and use the bow, use of the bow. See, Jonathan was a great, skilled man with a bow and arrow. And he gave his bow to David. And so, David in legacy of Jonathan is saying, teach children how to use the bow. There was a point where Jonathan was communicating with David by sending an arrow close by David to tell him what was going on.
So, here it says, again, I’ll read verse 18. Also, he bade them teach the children of Judah the use of the bow. Behold, it is written in the book of Jasher. The beauty of Israel is slain upon thy high places. How are the mighty fallen? Tell it not in Gath, that’s the city of the Philistines. Publish it not in the streets of Ashkelon. Lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice. Lest the daughters of the uncircumcised triumph.
The mountains of Gilboa, let there be no dew. Neither let there be rain upon you, nor fields of offerings. For there the shield of the mighty is vilely cast away. The shield of Saul, as though he had not been anointed with oil. From the blood of the slain, from the fat of the mighty, the bow of Jonathan turned not back. And the sword of Saul returned not empty. Saul and Jonathan were lovely and pleasant in their lives. And in their death, they were not divided. They were swifter than eagles. They were stronger than lions.
The daughters of Israel weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet with other delights. Who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel. How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle? O Jonathan, thou wast slain in thine high places. I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan. Very pleasant hast thou been unto me. Thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. How are the mighty fallen and the weapons of war perished? My God, what a heart David had for his friend Jonathan.
I Cannot Lift My Hand Against the Lord’s Anointed
And look at the respect. He knew that God had called Saul. You know, to stand in the spiritual competition for one day is very commendable. And sometimes the enemy can get to a person. And in this case, the enemy was able to get to Saul. As you read the records, you can hear about these men that were evil, that have infiltrated his camp and caused them to pursue David.
At one point, David, when Saul had come into the cave where he was hiding, he took a piece of his garment, cut it while he was right there. His men wanted him to kill him, but he refused him. I cannot lift my hand against the Lord’s anointed. And then when Saul had departed the cave, David stood up out of the cave and said, Saul, why do you listen to men’s words who say that I seek your hurt?
Choose Your Friends Wisely and Sharpen One Another
See, it depends on who you’re going to hang with. We need to choose our friends very wisely and be with those men and women that sharpeneth iron. We sharpen iron for each other so we can stay on the word and we can build friendships like was depicted in this record between Jonathan and David.
Key Takeaways
- Friendship is a relationship God speaks about directly: Proverbs 27:9 compares the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel to ointment and perfume that rejoice the heart.
- Iron sharpeneth iron means friends keep each other useful, the way a butcher keeps his implements sharp, not that we look at one another with a critical eye.
- In John 15 Jesus calls the apostles friends: greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends, and we can walk with that kind of heart.
- Hebrews 10 puts three things together: hold fast the profession of our hope, provoke one another, which means encourage, unto love and to good works, and do not forsake assembling together.
- Jonathan, about twice David’s age, had his own soul knit to David’s after Goliath, and stripped off his robe, garments, sword, bow and girdle to give them to him.
- It matters who you hang with. Jonathan had once taken on the whole Philistine garrison with only his armor bearer, and 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns that evil associations corrupt good manners.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean that iron sharpeneth iron in Proverbs 27:17?
It is a picture of keeping tools useful. Rev. Jon Ryan compares it to a butcher shop, where the implements have to be so sharp that the butcher can masterfully fillet a fish or cut up a steak. Tools get dull from use, and friends do the same work for each other: we help to keep each other sharp, keep each other on point, and keep each other on the word. It is not looking at one another with a critical eye, but taking care of each other.
Why does Hebrews 10:25 tell believers not to forsake assembling together?
Because to forsake is to abandon or to give up on, and we are not to give up on the assembling of ourselves together. Rev. Jon Ryan notes it can become easy to stay in your home where you are not with anybody, especially now that they will deliver everything to your door and you can have everything you need at your fingertips through the internet. Meeting on the phone counts, but greater are the opportunities to be with one another face to face. That is how the iron sharpening iron can happen.
What does the friendship of Jonathan and David teach about choosing friends?
Jonathan was about twice David’s age, and after David killed Goliath the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, so that Jonathan loved him as his own soul and stripped off his robe, his garments, his sword, his bow and his girdle to give them to David. Rev. Jon Ryan sets that beside 1 Corinthians 15:33, that evil associations corrupt good manners: it matters who you hang with. We need to choose our friends very wisely and be with those men and women that sharpeneth iron.
Scripture References
Proverbs 27:9; Proverbs 27:17; Proverbs 18:24; John 13:34; John 13:35; John 15:9-14; Hebrews 10:23; Hebrews 6:19; Hebrews 10:24; Ephesians 2:8-10; Hebrews 10:25; 1 Samuel 18:1-4; 1 Samuel 14:1; 1 Samuel 13:13-16; 1 Samuel 13:22; 1 Samuel 13:23; 1 Samuel 14:6; 1 Samuel 14:13-15; 1 Samuel 14:23; 1 Corinthians 15:33; 1 Samuel 20:1-3; 1 Samuel 22; 1 Samuel 24; 1 Samuel 26; 2 Samuel 1:17-27
This text was prepared from the teaching audio. Please verify scripture references against your own Bible.
