When you step out your door each day, what do you notice? Do you see people exchanging love and respect? Do they pause and smile, and say something pleasant? Do they willingly merge with you in traffic? Does anyone hold the door or speak with simple kindness?
If you saw any of those small things, were you surprised because those gentle exchanges feel rare? Many of us sense that something tender has gone missing from ordinary life.
The gap we all feel
A recent Dignity Barometer conducted by Hart Research Associates found that although 94% of Americans say all people deserve to be treated with dignity, only 31% believe we actually treat one another that way. That is an enormous gentleness gap in our dealings with each other. No wonder so many people are aching to find someone who truly cares, someone who appreciates them for who they are rather than what others think they should be. Surely, as a nation and as God’s children, we can do better.
Why gentleness feels so counter-cultural
The harshness of worldly judgment is everywhere. Headlines often sound like, “Here’s why you’re doing it wrong.” The assumption is that someone else has all the answers and that you must be clueless. We are constantly told we are reactionary, regressive, hopelessly out of touch, or out of sync. It is easy to become discouraged in a world that tries to dictate not only our every move, but even our every thought.
In this lonely world of aggression, antagonism, and aggravation, Jesus Christ provides the very quality that seems to be missing: gentleness. The word itself can arrest our attention because it feels so uncharacteristic of our times. Yet in God’s playbook, gentleness has never gone out of style.
How did Jesus Christ describe his heart?
What words did Jesus Christ use to describe himself and reveal his own big, beautiful heart? Listen to Matthew 11:29 (NIV):
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
“I am gentle and humble in heart.” What a relief it is to know there is someone who will be gentle with us, respect us, lift us up, and honor us as if our lives truly matter. God shows us in His Word the depth of His gentleness and goodness through the example of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Gentleness is not only something we receive
But gentleness does not stop with him. The Book of Colossians says that the Christian believer has Christ in him or her, the hope of glory. As Christians, we can become gentle people whose presence brings respite to everyone we encounter.
The Apostle Paul reminds us to emulate Christ in his gentleness:
2 Corinthians 10:1 (ESV):
I, Paul, myself entreat you, by the meekness and gentleness of Christ—
How Christ modeled gentleness
Christ modeled gentleness for us, and now we are called to live it. One reason Jesus was a breath of fresh air wherever he went is that his motivation was never to coerce, but to persuade. He saw beyond the sin nature and looked for the repentant heart. He gave people a fresh start when others were ready to condemn and banish them. He saw people as God sees them: still beloved, still reachable, still worth calling back to the fold.
The Gospels are full of examples of his mercy and compassion. To the woman caught in adultery, he asked, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Has no one condemned thee?” When she answered, “No man, Lord,” He replied, “Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.” To the woman at the well who had had five husbands, he personally revealed that he was the Messiah so she could believe. In the parable of the prodigal son, he illustrated the redemptive power of a father’s love and forgiveness.
Gentleness is something we can put on
The New Testament teaches that gentleness is a fruit of the spirit, part of the gift of holy spirit given to everyone born again.
Galatians 5:22–23 (ESV):
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
With gentleness comes self-control. The Epistles further instruct us that gentleness is something we can put on, just as we might put on a raincoat before heading into the rain.
Colossians 3:12 (BSB):
Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Gentleness brings so many good things with it: compassion, kindness, humility, patience, and peace. What a harbinger of peace we can be when we go forth with gentleness.
A simple way to begin
When I am out in the community and about to part ways after a short encounter with a stranger, my habit has been to say, “Have a blessed day.” Lately, I have taken to saying, “Have a gentle day.” You can almost see the wheels turning when gentleness enters the conversation: What would a gentle day look like? I may not know yet, but I think I want to find out.
Closing the gap
Determine now to show the world not harshness and hostility, but the gentleness of Christ. Take time to acquaint yourself with the Savior’s example and put it into practice in your own heart and life. Relish the opportunity. You can be a blessing wherever you go, and your life can bear witness to the Lord Jesus Christ.
